Did you know your muma is an artist? She is. Also, your 4 year old cousin/niece? (what, you didn't know your niece was your cousin?) Anyway, she can tooootally paint that. And that. And that picture that won the prize the other day.
So your muma is an artist, your niece/cousin (that's still weirding you out, isn't it? It should) is an artist and you? You're some wannabe-artist. I bet you thought that going to Uni would help you out, instead its just meant the establishment of a magnificent alcoholic dependency and the awareness that you'll be earning less than 40,000 after 8 years of study. Oh what's that? You're feeling pretty pissed off? No shit. Also, you're poor. Yeah. It sucks, doesn't it? So this is for you. This is for everyone who is sick of listening to the same old windbags hold forth on the same old crap. Why do the same names keep on appearing in the same papers spouting the same crap? Could it be because as a paying job, they'd stab their own granny before giving it up? Probably. It could also be because it is so much easier to just cut and paste press releases rather than actually critique people who you might be having dinner with next weekend.
In case you thought we were some sort of anti-establishment re-tread, you know we're also going to be railing against all the same-old new shit that apparently doesn't even stink. Just because you aren't crippled by self-loathing and have the ability to spray paint images of international advertising campaings onto day-glo backgrounds doesn't mean you're actually artistically interesting. Or deserve to be there.
Finally, just because we don't like you either, and just because we can, we're going to force you to deal with the realness that is: gallery openings overseas are better than ones here because, well, they are. What's that? Cultural cringe? Your muma didn't cringe last night!
You know your muma's an artist. And so are you and so are we.
Monday, February 2, 2009
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